down the writer's path

DWP Guest Op-Ed: Tales From the Bookstore or Why Real Life Should Have Arcane Intellect

(While the following piece is funny, it does say something about today's reading public. And if you've ever contemplated working in a bookstore, you may want to reconsider. Publishers spend a lot of time chosing titles, crafting choose me covers, editing cover flap remarks and gathering endorsements. Sometimes, if you work in a bookstore, you just have to wonder why. And if you're an author, well, moments like the ones below can be a bit scary. The commentary below, Tales From the Bookstore and Why Real Life Should Have Arcane Intellect, is written and copyrighted by Bookseller Amy, aka, Frost Mage Kelda, 2006.)

Hi, my name is Kelda. I’m a level 60 Gnomish Frost Mage on Uldum. I’ve got 5/8 of the Arcanist set and 3/8 of my Netherwind. My guild completely pwns in Molten Core and we’re making good progress in Black Wing Lair.

Oh, alright. My name is Amy and I’m a Warcraft addict. You know—Warcraft--that MMORPG (that’s geek speak for an online fantasy game) that’s hooked over 5 million fellow gamers worldwide. It’s dungeons and dragons, good and evil, swords and sorcery brought to glorious real-time, computer-generated life. As you can see, sometimes the game and real life have begun to blur and I find myself wanting Kelda’s abilities--like Arcane Intellect.

Arcane Intellect grants a temporary +30 to Intellect bonus to ourselves and other players. There really should be a way to do this in real life. Hmm, you’re too stupid to comprehend me. Poof, I cast Arcane Intellect upon you. Now we can at least get through the rest of our conversation without me wanting to stab your eyeballs out.

For example… A customer motions me over to the mystery section. “Ya’ll only have two titles by John Grisham. He’s really famous and I can’t believe you don’t have more of his stuff. You see?” The man points to the bottom shelf, “Now tell me why you’ve only got two of his books.”

“Um sir,” I say looking at the next set of shelves, “We’ve got three whole rows of Grisham right here.”

“Oh…so the books start up again on the top, eh? I was thinking they should keep going along the bottom row. I was wondering why none of the authors were in order.”

Poof, I cast Arcane Intellect upon you. “Nope, each of the shelves run left to right, top to bottom. When you get to the bottom of one shelf you start back up at the top of the next.”

“Well I’ll be… They didn’t used to do that.”

Damn, damn, damn…

A few minutes later I find the same customer standing in front of the music section looking puzzled. “What else can I help you with?”

“Where do you keep the whatcha call ‘ems? Foreign Books.”

You can’t possibly be talking about untranslated literature…you barely speak English. “Sir, do you mean books in another language or books to learn another language?”

“No, no. You know...Foreign Books.”

“History?”

“No.”

“Travel?”

“Yeah, that it! Where are they?”

“Well, you’re in our music department. Let me show you where the travel books are.”

“But it says 'International' on the sign.”

“International. Music. These are all CD’s.”

“You don’t keep all the foreign stuff together?”

Poof, I cast Arcane Intellect upon you
“Travel books are right this way, sir. What country are you looking for?”

“Europe.”

Well, not a country, but at least you didn’t say New York… Maybe it worked.

The customer starts to follow me down an aisle but stops halfway along. “Oh, here we go.”

“Sir, that’s the Caribbean.”

“That’s not near Europe?”

Damn, damn, damn…

“Europe books are right over here. Let me know if there’s anything else I can help you with.” I will be on the other side of the store avoiding your aura of stupidity just in case it’s contagious

---Bookseller Amy/Frost Mage Kelda
Feel free to comment here or to ask Bookseller Amy questions, post them here and, magelike, Amy/Kelda's answers will appear. --vikk

DWP Guest Op-Ed: How Kaavya Viswanathan Got Rich, Got Set Up, and Got a Bloody Nose

(Today's post is the result of a friend's phone call, a friend who doesn't have a blog but one who wants the full context of her opinions laid out in cyberspace. She had been contacted by the media for her take on the most recent controversy of plagerism rumbling through Publisher's Row. The commentary below, How Kaavya Viswanathan Got Rich, Got Set Up, and Got a Bloody Nose, is written and copyrighted by Kimberly Morris, 2006.)

I have written many series novels for publishers and for book packagers. Because of the controversy over Kaavya Viswanathan’s novel, How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild, and Got a Life (published by Little Brown and packaged by Alloy), I have been asked for my views on this topic and about my experiences working with book packagers.

Many people are confused about what a book packager does. A book packager could be described as a subcontracted publishing house. Packagers are able to concentrate principally on the creative and editorial tasks relating to book production. Unlike publishers, they are not encumbered with marketing departments, sales departments, advertising departments, art departments, and distribution, warehousing, and fulfillment responsibilities. This makes them pretty nimble - able to reinvent themselves quickly in response to market trends. In short, book packagers are very efficient in their ability to produce large quantities of books that readers like, and get them on the shelves fast.

Personally, I’ve had good luck and good relationships with packagers. I like being employed. I like to write for different genres. And I work well under pressure. Working with packagers is a bit like being an actor in the old studio system. On Monday, you’re a pirate. On Tuesday, you’re a cowboy. On Wednesday, they tell you to bring your tap shoes. The old studio system made a lot of movies and produced an enormous pool of well-trained actors who learned their craft by doing it.

Some writers dislike working with book packagers. It is, admittedly, a tough business. But it’s an area of publishing that attracts talented and ambitious creative people. For writers and editors willing to work hard and pay dues, it’s an arena of opportunity

So knowing this, I was astounded to learn that a publisher and/or packager would give a $500,000 advance to a 17-year-old high school student with no track record, no training, and no book.

The general public, unfortunately, has a tendency to regard writing as the idiot savant branch of the arts. The general attitude seems to be that any dolt can write a book if they can just find the time.

I can understand why a layperson would think this. People who are good at what they do make it look easy. When you read well-written popular fiction, the writing seems effortless. In reality it’s damned hard work. Anybody who’s done it knows that. So what I cannot understand, is how so many people inside the publishing and packaging industry could have convinced themselves that it was a good idea to commission an inexperienced teenager - who was now a full-time college student under tremendous academic pressure – to write a novel that would be worth half a million dollars! What were they thinking? And why are they now surprised that the work is derivative and in many instances, outright plagiarized?

James Frey’s book – (Are they still calling it a “memoir?”) - wasn’t properly vetted and one of the reasons the publisher offered was that Frey’s book was just a mid-list memoir. A dark horse title that might or might not earn back its advance of $50,000. From their perspective, the earning potential of the book didn’t justify the time, trouble, and expense of checking out Fray’s story.

But if you’re spending half a million dollars on a manuscript going in, why wouldn’t you make sure it passed the sniff test? All I can figure is that they were so dazzled by the prospect of discovering a prodigy that it short-circuited their common sense.

So what do we learn from this?

Well, I, personally, learned why publishing margins are so thin. (Because they’re giving $500,000 advances to teenagers who can’t write.)

But what are the major media companies learning?

I hope they are learning that they need to do some serious thinking about their role in the content industry. The world is glutted with entertainment, news, and information “product.” Historically, readers and viewers have relied upon established and recognized media “brands” to vet content for merit, accuracy, and quality. If professionals abdicate that responsibility, or do not perform that value added service, they will cease to be relevant. There are too many of these incidents now to ignore. The industry needs to start taking this problem seriously and understand that consumers aren’t paying them for raw content. They are paying for an imprimatur that connotes legitimacy and credibility.

I feel sorry for Kaavya Viswanathan. She is a kid. She is an amateur. The people making the important decisions in this situation were adults. They were experienced professionals who should have known better.

Yes. Yes. I know Kaavya Viswanathan should have known better, too. Yes. Yes. I know she goes to Harvard. So what? Good grades are not the same thing as good judgment. And good judgment isn’t the inevitable by-product of an Ivy League education.

Bill Clinton went to Yale. Jeff Skilling went to Harvard. George Bush went to Yale. Donald Rumsfeld went to Princeton. None of them will be remembered by history for their good judgment.

--Kimberly Morris ([email protected])
Feel free to comment here or contact Kimberly directly. (Of course, I hope you'll comment here.) --vikk

My Library over at LibraryThing

For those few who keep up with these kinds of things: I now have catalogued 423 books entered into my database over at LibraryThing. For those who enjoy oddball statistics, here's a link to LibraryThing's overall stats. My catalogue currently contains a lot of ARCs (Advanced Reading Copies). With so many books and so little time, I've made it a point to add any new books coming into the house while I struggle to slowly add the older books lining the shelves, stacking the floor and counters, and topping the tables. While some ARCs come as the result of my working at Borders, others arrive via Blogcritics.org; however, there's also a major influx of new releases scheduled for this summer as a result of my traipsing across the George R. Brown Convention Center last week during during the Texas Library Association's annual conference. If you'd like to see which ARCs I have, click on the catalogue page, click on "search library", then look for the search bar. Type in ARC and click on tags. (You have to be on the "printable" display page rather than the "graphic" one to find the search box.)

I am a total fan of LibraryThing. The catalogue can be downloaded and easily searched. It's also interesting to see who else has the same books. When I loan a book out, I simply go in and add another tag with the person's name. Then all I have to do is search for that person's name and I know what books they have--which are very few as I am a curmudgeon when it comes to loaning out books. Here are some interesting facts about LibraryThing:

Books cataloged 2,559,383 (1) Total users 36,148 (since August 29, 2005); (2) Unique works 768,626; (3) Total tags 3,756,005; (4) Total reviews 32,477; (5) Total ratings 331,045; (6) User-contributed covers 64,354

Have you considered using an online library catalogue site?